Thank you for sharing these feelings, Selena. I’m quite sure that all of us who are not in complete denial can sympathize with your despair. My own coping mechanism (still evolving, of course) is the Buddhist practice of embracing impermanence, which, along with interbeing, and ultimate, timeless Oneness (nirvana) are the three Dharma Seals. When you befriend Impermanence rather than fearing it or denying it, you find it easier to let go of dread for “the future” since the present is all there is. When something triggers that dread again, as it will (e.g. a wildfire close to home, or another ghastly headline about somewhere else), just breathe, observe, and let go, returning to the present moment and the (impermanent) miracle of being alive, right now. If you are religious, you might also try the Gesthemane prayer (on the night Jesus realized that he could not escape his horrific fate of death by slow torture): “Lord, please take this cup (the cup of bitterness and dread) away from me—not as I will, but as Thou wilt.” Then go on doing good work while letting go of attachment to outcomes. Repeat as needed.