Thank you for sharing this heartfelt essay with which every thinking person (a minority, I’m afraid) can readily relate. I have written a number of pieces here on Medium addressing this issue at a personal level, which you might enjoy reading; the most recent is entitled “What do we tell the children?” (although I don’t pretend to have a satisfactory answer to this dilemma). As I see it, there are, in general, four prevalent attitudes toward our predicament: denial, delusion, despair, and determination. Only the latter is adaptive.
Determination in my view entails reminding myself that the present is all there is, and the future is just a mental formation created by language, since no one can be absolutely sure what will happen even tomorrow. Our civilization is doomed, as you well know, but in the meantime, our best bet is to grow gardens, grow community, and grow awareness—in that order.