Thank you for sharing your griefs and frustrations with us, Richard. Unfortunately, growing old is learning how to let go of attachments, since (as Buddhists are taught to remind ourselves frequently) we are ALL of the nature to get sick, grow old, die, and lose everything we cherish. Of these, the fourth is the most difficult—harder, that is, than even accepting our mortality! Then comes the fifth “remembrance:” Our actions are our only true possessions. I hope this is useful for you. 🙏