Thank you for sharing your story. It is important, I think, to recognize the difference between a cult and a sangha (a Buddhist term for a spiritual community). Here are a few important distinctions:

1. Ideological absolutism ("Our way or no way") If they insist upon drawing a line between "us" (the true believers) and "them" i(everyone else)--it is a cult, and you should leave immediately. Healthy spiritual communities are tolerant of diverse beliefs and opinions, and welcoming.

2. Leader worship: If a lot of emphasis is placed on worshiping a leader with no tolerance for criticizing that leader or questioning his supremacy as a guide and teacher--you are in a cult.

3. Pressure to conform: if anyone insists on "obedience" to authorities within an organization, leave immediately. You are in a cult.

4. Isolation: If the group insists on separating you from your friends and associates outside it, you are in a cult.

5. Money: if you are pressured to donate, or to raise, money for your group, it is a good indicator of cult status.

Healthy religious or spiritual organizations do none of these things. I'm sure there are more red flags than these--abusive behavior above all--but these are a starting point.