Thank you, Patsy, for sharing your insights on “tonic” vs “toxic” masculinity. I was beginning to think that I was the only guy out there who was committed BOTH to the (modernized) code of “chivalry” AND to equal rights and dignity for women. I’ve been happily married for 37 years to a woman who is an ardent feminist and who never once has let me “dominate” her (or vice versa). But I had to learn this. I still remember when I was young having a girlfriend whom I then believed I could simply tell her what to do, expecting that she would automatically submit to my inherent authority as a male. I’m glad I outgrew that!

Deep cultural programming is difficult to overcome—especially when reinforced by toxic authoritarian religions like Christianity and Islam. But with patience and determination, if can and must be abandoned, and a better, more respectful and fulfilling life for both genders will follow.