Your conclusion is a good starting point. Politicizing the personal is a self-indulgent waste of time because the minute we make a generalization starting with “Men…” or “Women…” or even “single men or single women…” we are engaging in simplistic stereotypes—that is, in gender bigotry. People make their own lifestyle decisions based on their own personalities and experiences, and no one is entitled to judge them, since none of the rest of us has ever seen through their eyes or experienced their lives. So I have nothing but pity for men who hate women or women who hate men, and contempt for those sick souls (such as neofascist incels) who promote such hatred.